I have found three little words that help me find peace and tranquility. These words have helped me stop worrying and obsessing about things that really aren’t that important and thinking about them is hurting more than helping. By being more relaxed and tranquil I surround myself with positive energy, I can think more clearly and manifest more effectively. I can let the light into my life.
Many of my clients are wrought up and spinning about certain subjects. The other day I had a client that was focused on their social media campaign; how many likes, comments and shares they got for each post; what to wear to please as many followers as possible; the reasons why followers didn’t approve of something about the client and how to adapt to please the followers. They were asking me to predict what their next move is to gain followers and thereby becoming “successful.” They really needed to follow these three little words.
I have another client who was all concerned about controlling everything around them; every decision for their spouse and children; how big to make the fenced yard and where to place the fence; what car their friend should buy. They were so overwhelmed trying to make every decision for everyone else, they could barely cope. They turned to me for some peace and guidance, they didn’t like these three little words.
Many of my clients define their expectations using the word “perfect”. They won’t be satisfied until everything in their life is perfect. I remind them that “perfect” is a relative term and therefore doesn’t really exist. What you deem to be perfect may not be anywhere near what I deem to be perfect. Therefore “perfect” can’t be universally defined and isn’t real. Still, they persist in the pursuit of perfection as defined by the voice inside their head of a parent, teacher or partner thinking that it will someday be obtained and then they will find the satisfaction they seek. It’s funny how the perfection they strive for isn’t necessarily their definition of perfect. These folks have a lot of trouble accepting these three little words or even the words "good enough".
Many people I work with tie themselves into knots trying to anticipate the best way to please others and work like crazy to fulfill this preconception. They worry what others will think about them if they don’t live up to these self-imposed standards. I ask them “how much time do you spend thinking about these other people that you are trying to please”. More often than not, they don’t spend much time thinking about what other people wear or how they present themselves but panic over how they will be perceived. These three little words can help them to relax.
You may also have some trouble applying these three little words. They don’t apply to everything, but they apply more often than you think, you may be surprised. Keep using them and see how they relieve the pressure you feel. When this pressure is lifted you can find your joy, comfort and light.
You may think these three little words are I LOVE YOU, which are very important but not what we are talking about here. These three little words are:
IT DOESN’T MATTER!
We tend to get lost in details and minutia; we allow these details to increase our stress. What if...?!
What if my guest thinks my house isn’t clean enough for their standards? IT DOESN’T MATTER!
What if my post doesn’t get attention? IT DOESN’T MATTER!
What if what I am wearing doesn’t please everyone in the room? IT DOESN’T MATTER!
What if my family doesn’t do everything I think they should to please me? IT DOESN’T MATTER!
What if the fence isn’t installed exactly where I want it to be? IT DOESN’T MATTER!
What if I’m running late? IT DOESN’T MATTER!
What if I’m not perfect? IT DOESN’T MATTER!
Allow these three little words to help you define what is really important and what is extraneous. We spend entirely too much time and effort on things we can easily say IT DOESN’T MATTER!